A Quiet Evening at Home, by Mike

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves the following tasks: Madeline must complete a new invention and a multi-color professional display describing it. This includes drilling cupholder holes in a piece of wood, writing and printing out marketing copy for the invention, pasting the copy on a three-panel business display and taking before and after pictures of her baby brother, who is the subject of the invention. Maya must complete homework in math, social studies and Spanish, at which time she must turn her attention to a five-part essay question that is a take-home test in Literature. These questions refer to a difficult text on the King Arthur myths, which she read weeks ago. You must also chase around the floor a lightning-fast eight-month-old, who now believes that destination is nothing and the journey is everything. This means he simply crawls as fast as he can in whatever direction is not shut off by a gate or door. You must sprint ahead of him and slam the doors to the bathroom, the kitchen, the stairways and any other hazard. This makes him laugh and clap his hands, which is somewhat rewarding, but the pause lasts only a few moments before he sprint-crawls in the opposite direction. You must also begin packing for the mountains, and cooking the family meal for tomorrow night, so there is something to eat once we arrive. You must also field multiple orders from your spouse, who is chasing the eight-month-old around the room and announcing hazards like an OSHA inspector - "We need outlet covers for that one. Ooops! We need a softer corner there! Yikes! We've got to get the safety latches on this cupboard under the sink!"

Are you ready for this challenge? Send resumes and references to our web site. We'll be checking messages frequently, if we can stay awake.